Lady in the Wild

As I’m sure you would put it, Chlamydia, I'm adventurous and not deterred by challenge but when I was called upon to rescue my niece from torment of Suncliff Prison in Thailand I immediately made arrangements, booked flights, cancelled the cat and had the papers put out. I sallied forth on a murky day in August and jetted to an uncertain destination. Sadly my niece's correspondence was a little incoherent. Apparently she is deprived of toilet paper and instead has some kind of water spray. Her letter also indicated other tortuous practices which I don’t care to mention. I will, however, say that she has to drink from buckets and had every joint in her body pulled apart. For this reason, I have travelled across continents to rescue her.

I arrived at the island neighbouring my destination and was surprised to be informed that there was no prison on Koh Phangan. There was an area called Suncliff near the main town of Haad Rin. Unfortunately the jet lag took its toll and after the herbal cigarette I was offered to calm my nerves I went right off to sleep. In a hammock as it turned out. Something I haven't done since I was in the Turkish Navy!

The jet-lag obviously was far more taxing than I thought as, when I awoke, it was just before 6 O'clock on the day after I had arrived. I hurriedly took my leave of the group who I had left the aeroplane with and headed for the boat. The crossing was uneventful and relatively inexpensive though my position near the engine was quite 'distracting' to both myself and the other female travellers. and after 45 minutes I disembarked into the frighteningly strange world of Koh Phangan. From what I could see, and the sun had just set by this stage, the main street seems to be very 'rural' in appearance in terms of construction though there are signs of concrete, Mr Macadam would be turning in his grave! The wiring along the streets seems to be a little inexpert with crackling and fizzing in progress which was more than a little disturbing not to say static inducing. I have found lodgings in an establishment just to the east of the main town which has barely serviceable sleeping arrangements and was able to Breville a cheese and ham toastie for me enabling me not to have to break into the bars of Kendal Mint Cake you had sequestered on my person before I left. Anyway it's quite late so I am going to rest with a cup of tea and some cake that a neighbour has kindly offered me.